


Don't leave

by tangyyy



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet, Drama, Drama & Romance, Drama Queen Yuzu, Fights, Flashbacks, Fluff, Injury, Love, Lovers, M/M, They love each other, Toronto, Yuzu's mom, before the 2018 olympics, that's why they fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 12:16:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13811004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangyyy/pseuds/tangyyy
Summary: Javier swore in Spanish and looked for his phone in the pocket of his jeans... No, really, time was running out. He has to tell him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii !
> 
> New Yuzuvier two shots !  
> This one is all about Javier leaving Toronto sooo... Yeah, it's a bit bittersweet ! :P  
> As usual, don't forget that enslish isn't my maternal language, sorry for the mistakes !  
> I hope you'll enjoy this little story anyway !  
> Oh and yes, I know, Javi doesn't have a car but hey, it's a fiction ! :D

Suddenly awakened by the strident sound of his mechanical alarm clock, Javier stretched out his arm and violently slammed his hand on the small object. Groaning, he buried his face in his feather pillow. Emerging from the heavy fog called sleep, he had slept for seven hours. After a minute he turned his head to the side to breathe some fresh air. He opened one eye with great difficulty, then the other. The darkness in the room was deep, the sun struggling to find a place behind the big gray clouds of the Toronto's winter sky. No need to extend his hand on the left side of the mattress, Javier knew it very well; he was alone. Terribly alone. When Yuzuru slept by his side, he could hear his raspy breathing. The young man smiled weakly as he thought back to one of their first talk after they had slept together for the first time.

 

_"Yuzu, by the way, you snore._   
_-No that's not true ! I breathe hard because of asthma._   
_-Yeah... I'd rather say you snore, just like my old aunt Antonia._   
_-Shut up! "_

 

Lying naked under his thick cotton duvet, Javier let himself sink a few more minutes between dreams and reality. Feeling dangerously sleepy again, he gathered all his courage of tired man and lit the little bedside lamp. He straightened up and rubbed his eyes before daring to put a foot out of bed. He quickly put on an old football shorts which he usually used to stay comfortably at home and got out of the room.

 

A quick glance on the living room confirmed his doubts; Yuzuru had left the apartment. At the entrance, his shoes had disappeared, his thick coat was no longer on the couch and on the floor, his bag was also missing. Slowly, Javier walked through the kitchen. As he turned on his coffee machine, he glanced absent-mindedly at his phone. No text or a call from Yuzuru. Only one notification appeared as he received a new email.  
"For Christmas, give your s ignificant other a morning under the sun."  
The young man wore a cold smirk. _Just a simple morning at home with me would be quite something..._

 

Sitting on one of his bar stools, he put his bowl of coffee on the counter, poured a little bit of milk in it, added a piece of sugar then mixed it all vacantly.  
He thought about Yuzuru. Not so long ago, the young Japanese used to spend most of his free time in this apartment. Even when he had university work, he would come there, reading big japanese books, looking very concentrated, sitting on the floor. In the Meanwhile, Javier made tea, cooked for him, covered him with a warm blanket when he _fell_ i n to an _exhausted_ sleep on the couch. The young Japanese knew every little habit of Javier, knew his little obsessions and his rituals. Yuzuru spent so much time in Javier's place that his mother had to threaten to go on hunger strike to force her son to come back, just one or two niths per week, at home.

 

_"Yuzu, you're falling asleep._   
_-Hm...What? No no! Look, I... I'm reading!_   
_-Your head was failing on my thigh just two seconds ago._   
_-Not... A yawn. Not at all._   
_-Come on, let's go to bed._   
_-Mmmh..._   
_-What?_   
_-I will go to bed but under one condition._   
_-Which is..._   
_-I feel very tense you know... Training, exams, competitions, media pressure, my mother..._   
_-Mmh... And?_   
_-I would really need to... Relax..._   
_-Oh I see, you're not tired for everything!_   
_-I didn't say that I was tired, you did!_   
_-Come here..."_

 

Time goes fast and things change. Javier took a first sip of hot coffee, watching the raindrops which kept falling on _Toronto_ .  
For weeks now, he and Yuzuru have hardly talked to each other, except to make trite remarks about the rain and the snow or the lack of kindness of the lady at the Cricket Club reception. Last night they had made love more by convention, habit, or physical drive than by true desire.

  
Javier felt emptied, cold and alone.

  
Yuzuru hiding himself behind his very Japanese placidity, Javier and his spanish blood, felt totally helpless. This attitude, so cold and tough, always seemed so mysterious to him. Javier knew exactly where this trouble was coming from. He knew what was the problem but felt unable to solve it.  
It was December, more than a month after Yuzuru injured himself while training for the NHK trophy. More than a month without being able to train, being obliged to stay away from the ice, watching his colleagues progress, watching, him, having fun on the ice rink. Of course it was hard for Yuzuru, very hard, Javier was aware of that. But what could he do? Was he responsible for this situation? The answer was no, ten times no. The Spaniard knew it well but that wasn't enough to calm his nerves. As an inveterate competitor if ever there was one, Yuzuru loved to win and outdo himself. Javier was very aware of Yuzuru's competitive spirit, he loved him for that as well. He was used to his mood swings, to this cold poker face he had every time the competition took precedence over their relationship. Through good times and bad, all these tensions were balanced with other easier moments, more peaceful times where the two young men managed to forget their rivalries and enjoyed a simple life of young men in love.

  
Yet, during this month of December 2017, this pretty balance was somewhat out of order. Feeling miserable and helpless, Javier hadn't a clue about what he had to do.

 

Javier's eyes fell upon the big iron wall clock hanging in front of him. _Shit..._ He was late. Pulling himself out of his thoughts he swallowed the rest of his bowl in one go and rushed in the shower.  
When he was ready to go out, he grabbed his cell phone and hurriedly wrote a text for Yuzuru.  
"Hi! I hope you slept well. Are you coming to the Club today?"

 

In his car, on the twenty-minute drive that separated his apartment from the Cricket Club, Javier had a keen eye on the road, the other eye on the screen of his i-pod. He decided on a ballad of one of his favourite singers; Pablo Alrugan. He turned up the volume as a memory came back to his mind.

 

_A few years ago, on a warm evening of June, Javier was driving and Yuzuru, barefoot on the dashboard, was watching the landscape as the same music notes came out of the speakers._   
_"This music very bad.” Yuzuru said in a broken English._   
_"Huh? What, I like it... "Javier replied, stung by this statement , more vexed than he would admit._   
_"Singer for girls and childs, it is stupid. It is like the music of bad drama for young girls._   
_-This boy's messing around with me... You must kidding me! You, your sparkling costumes and your teddy bear?_   
_-It is for the media image! Me for image, Javi is really like that._   
_-Yeah, sure..._   
_-Drive and change the music!"_   
_He was like this, Yuzuru. A very bossy young man who has a strong and tough character hiding himself behind a polite and cute image._

 

Thinking about this memory, Javier smiled. The persistent tense situation in which they struggled has lasted too long. He had to renew the dialogue with Yuzuru. Especially now that he had just made a crucial decision about his future as a professional skater. A decision that also played a decisive role in his personal life. Javier was afraid of what was coming, of what was going to happen in the months to come.  
Days were going and he had to talk to Yuzuru, to share his doubts, his fears but also, who knew, his hopes...

 

At the Cricket Club, after greeting Brian, Javier rushed into the locker room. When he was ready to train, he scanned the edge of the big rink and the study room, Yuzuru wasn't there. A last glance at his cell phone to see that the young Japanese hadn't answered to his text then he started his warm-ups.  
  
Throughout the morning between two combinations, three flips and a few lines, Javier kept his eyes on the study room. It was only around eleven o'clock that the young man sat down at one of the tables beside Tracy.

 

During lunch break, Javier took off his skates in a hurry and rushed towards the study room. Yuzuru was sitting alone, his glasses on his nose, his back bent over a laptop. If the young Japanese heard his boyfriend coming into the room, he didn't move at all.  
  
"Hi.” Javier greeted him before leaning over him and giving a small peck on his cheek.  
"Hello.” Yuzuru replied vacantly.  
"You work hard !  
-Well, I can't skate so I work as I can.” He said coldly, still watching the screen.  
_What a great atmosphere..._ Thought Javier in a very ironic way.

 

"We can eat together if you want ? It's been a long time since we went to the tacos kiosk, it...  
-No thank you, I already have what I need, my mother made me a bento."  
At these words Javier clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.  
"Is it so important? I need to talk to you."  
Yuzuru, finally paying attention to his tone of exasperation, looked into his eyes.  
"Yes, it's important, I don't want to waste.” He said calmly and unemotionally before coming back to his laptop.  
Irritated, Javier readjusted his bag over his shoulder and turned on his heel. In front of the door, he turned one last time towards Yuzuru.  
"When you'll choose to grow up, you know where to find me.  
-Yes, on the ice.” Replied the Japanese, still very cold and aloof.  
Javier, furious, rushed out of the room, slammed the door, and went out to get some fresh air.

 

A physio session and som e muscular reinforcement exer cices later, it was 4 pm and Javier had finished his work day. Throughout the afternoon, the young man took great care to focus on his work while trying to drive Yuzuru out of his mind. As a professional he was, he had been able to respect his schedule and his goals without too much trouble.  
Now that he has done all the work, he couldn't think about something else than Yuzuru. Once again, he felt deeply annoyed and insecure. His bag over his shoulder, his muscles aching and his face tired, Javier was walking down the long corridors of the Cricket Club toward the car park. Yuzuru wasn't there, he must had returned home earlier than usual. Wrapped up in his thick coat and thick woolen cap, Javier crossed fast the large car park.

 

He was still mad about Yuzuru's attitude. While driving, he thought about their talk in the study room. This cold behaviour, this lack of empathy, everything about Yuzuru on this day made him out of his mind. He didn't want to take the first step and yet... Yet he had to. Of course, he could have given Yuzuru time to manage his frustration as a wounded sportsman. Let him slowly come back to him. The young Japanese would take his time but he would always come back to him. But this time, Javier couldn't wait for him. He had to tell him quickly... Especially that by the end of the following week the two skaters will fly to their respective countries to spend christmas time with their families. No, really, time was running out.

 

To swallow his pride, to show some maturity... Javier swore in Spanish and looked for his phone in the pocket of his jeans. One beep, two beeps, three beeps, four beeps, five beeps, six beeps, seven beeps, nothing. Yuzuru was filtering his calls. Javier threw his phone on his coat on the passenger seat. _Boy, you do not escape from Javier Fernandez so easily..._ He drove on the side of the road then carefully turned around. On his way to the young man's home he turned up the volume of the car radio to lift his spirit.

 

In front of the small but pretty victorian house, Javier put his finger on the doorbell without any hesitation. Yuzuru came to open, he was wearing a baggy sweatpants and his hair was in a mess. His eyes were locked in Javier's, his face showing no sign of surprise.  
"As you didn't answer I thought I had to make a little detour over here before going home."  
Yuzuru shrugged.  
"I'm always glad to see you."  
The irony of his words hit the young Spaniard's chest like a blow.  
"It's freezing cold.” He recalled, trying to adopt Yuzuru's self-control. the young man leadded him inside. They were now in the small entryway cluttered with warmed winter shoes.

 

"As I told you earlier, I need to talk to you about something.  
-And as I told you earlier, I'm not in the mood to talk."  
The tension was palpable, Javier clenched his teeth.  
  
"And how long will it last? Because I'm really getting tired of all this.  
-Oh, excuse me for not being all happy and for not being at your disposal!"  
Yuzuru's tone was now more aggressive, the anger and frustration taking over his cold self-control. Paradoxically, Javier felt relieved. For him, everything was better than his cold (and fake) disinterest.

 

"Yuzu, I understand you're having bad times..."  
The young Japanese cutted him off, an attitude contrasting with his eternal and so japanese civility.  
"Badtimes?! No, you really don't understand anything.  
-So explain to me!"  
Their voices volume raised quickly as their eyes became harder.  
"I wait for my ankle to be better, the big competitions are coming soon and I feel useless. I waste the time, my body is bad and you want me smiling? Javi don't understand anything!"  
Yuzuru's English was always broken when his emotions took control over his brain.  
"I know all that!  
-No you know nothing! It is easy for Javi!  
-Easy?! I..."

 

Worried hearing all these cries, Yuzuru's mother poked her head into the entryway. She glanced hard at Javier and said a few words in Japanese that the young man didn't understand. Yuzuru replied in Japanese before catching a simple scarf on the coat rack, grabbed Javier's arm firmly and dragged him outside.

 

Tsuru Hanyu had never liked the young Spaniard. How could she? Not only did he "kidnap" his precious son, but in addition, he drove him into a terrible story... For a boy, to love another boy, was still taboo in many societies, especially in Japan. Seeing no other alternative, Yuzuru quickly made his mother aware of his feelings for Javier but the rest of his family was still completely unaware of this relationship. His mother was aware of their feelings without for all that showed much support to them. _What does she think?!_ Often grumbled Javier. That it was easy was for him? No, on the contrary, the young man wasn't very comfortable with this issue in his own family either. Not to mention the medias, Yuzuru and he regularly shuddered at the idea that the press could be aware of their love feelings.

 

"You should not come to my house when my mom is here."  
Choosing not to react to this last comment, Javier preferred to go back to another word said a few seconds ago.  
"Do you really think it's easy for me?!"

 

The two young men were now standing in front of the little house, their bodies freezing, large volutes of steam escaping from their angry mouths.  
"Yes it is easy for Javi, he is in good shape, good body.  
-But it's not everything Yuzu! Everyone is talking about you, your fucking ankle, your state of mind... Nobody cares about my program, if I'll be ready for the olympics, if I'm fine, nobody cares!  
-I can' do anything against that!  
-And more than that, I have to worry about you, your bad mood and your doubts!  
-I am injured!  
-Stop being so fucking selfish!"

 

Javier was furious, at least as much as Yuzuru who was now standing a few inches from his face and whose eyes seemed to throw sharp knives.  
"Javi can't understand, he is not a winner."  
A heavy silence fell between them.  
"You know what? With an attitude like yours, I hope that your ankle won't get better until the olympics.” He said coldly.  
Yuzuru remained silent. Taking advantage of this moment of silence, Javier turned and crossed the small garden, walking fast on melted snow towards his car. He stopped in front of the vehicle and turned one last time.  
"And don't you dare to come to my apartment to get some comfort as you did yesterday!"  
Yuzuru, who had regained his composure, was now ready to come back in the little house, he shouted in his turn.  
"Don't worry about that!” And he slammed the door.

 

Hitting the wheel with all his might, enraged, Javier went home at very high speed. It was only a matter of hours before the young man would regret what he just said to Yuzuru. The words he used went further than he intended. Yuzuru must felt the same, Javier was sure about that, but he couldn't calm down for now. Furious, he recited a litany of swear words in every possible language. And after all this, he still hadn't told Yuzuru about his decision to leave Toronto before the end of the year... Another swear, he bit his fist tightly.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy, I translated this in just one day... Sooo... I'm sure there are many mistakes but I'm still proud of me because... Wow ! It's a lot of work ! :P
> 
> Please, stay aware that english isn't my native language and that I don't have any beta ! 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this bittersweet piece of Yuzuvier ;)

The following week flew by in slow motion. Avoiding each other like the plague, not finding the strength to take the first step, the two men preferred to bear the loneliness in their own corner rather than put their pride aside. Holy pride...  
Finally, the departure day has arrived, on December 22 nd everyone flew to their respective countries without looking back.

  
If Javier had a hard time getting Yuzuru out of his mind, he still managed to spend a nice Christmas thanks to his mother's  _ turrón _ , his sister's laughter and his the madness of his friends. A short week later he was back in Toronto to get back to the ice at the earliest. Brian told him that Yuzuru had been able to resume training and that his ankle was much better. These news warmed Javier's heart. He felt ready to talk to Yuzuru again. Not only to tell him the decision he took but also to apologize for the nonsense he said the last time they saw each other. Especially that now his ankle has been almost fixed, the young japanese would be way more relaxed for sure. 

 

In one of the corridors of the Cricket Club, as he was going to the rink, Javier felt his cell phone vibrate against his thigh. Looking at the screen, a big smile appeared on his lips.  
"Hello. I think we really need to talk to each other... See you tonight? :)" 

 

A smiley! Good! This smiley meant everything. It meant that Yuzuru didn't blame him for his bad words or at least not that much, that he was ready to take a step towards him, that he wanted to see him, to talk to him... Javier felt as if a  _ huge weight _ had been lifted from  _ his shoulders _ . He hurried to answer him.  
"Yes of course! I'll pick you up at your mom's house. See you tonight..." 

 

Clenching his fist in victory, Javier noticed that one of his shoe laces was undone. On his kneels, he didn't see Brian coming toward him.  
"Ah! Javi! You're early, good.  
\- Hi Brian.  
-You know, I just had a small talk with Dr. Tremblay...  
-Ouch.  
-Yes, "ouch" as you say. Are you aware of the ecsesses of Christmas ?  
- _I plead guilty_ , your honour.  
-Guilty! Yes you are! You gained 3 kg in one week and my grand-father's liver is in better health than yours. We will have a lot of work to recover from these excesses...  
-Here we go!” Javier smiled as he stood up and shook his coach's hand. 

 

The two men started to walk at the same pace towards the ice rink.  
"So? Have you set a date for your big departure?  
-No no, not yet.” Javier replied a bit flustered.  
"You know that for me the later the better, but... You know how the Club administrators are...   
-I know, I know, I'll let you know.  
-You started looking for an apartment in Madrid?  
-A bit yes. It's still very vague...  
-I understand. "  
The two men kept walking in silence. At the corner of a corridor, Javier thought he saw Yuzuru rushing into one of the exercise rooms.  
Maybe he heard their talk? At the thought of this possibility, Javier's heart skipped a beat. The boy's wasn't supposed to learn Javier's decision like that! As he rushed to follow him, Brian's calm and steady voice stopped him in his tracks.  
"Where are you going? In case you didn't know, the ice is on this way." 

 

Javier bit his cheek. If Brian had always been a great support for Yuzuru and him, he had no intention of telling him about their torment right now. With a heavy heart he followed him towards the ice rink. 

 

At the end of the day Javier rushed into the locker room, took a quick shower and hurried to the snow-covered car park to get back to his own car as soon as possible. Tired legs, broken back, he consulted his cell phone; no news from Yuzuru. Trying to call him several times, the young man hadn't any replies.  
Without thinking twice, Javier drove to Mrs. Hanyu's home. 

 

"Good evening Madam, is Yuzuru here?  
-No. He say he is in your house.” The woman replied dryly with a frown for Javier.  
"Oh okay, thank you.  
-Why ? Problem?  
-No, no, not at all, thank you Madam, have a good evening!” He ended, running back to his car. The Japanese woman remained silent then closed the door.

 

At home, Javier found no trace of Yuzuru. Now he was sure, the young skater had heard everything. He felt terribly bad, utterly helpless. Yuzuru didn't respond to his calls. The minutes then the hours went by, the passing time only increasing the anxiety and remorse of the young Spaniard.  
  
Finally, around 11pm, Javier heard someone knocking at the door. Javier jumped on his feet and rushed into the entrance. 

 

"Hi..."  
Yuzuru was standing in front of him. A swollen face, a bright red nose, and eyes to match were there to witness recent and abundant tears. His head was covered with a big beanie soaked with melted  snow, he shivered and wrapped his arms  around his chest.

  
"Please, come in."  
The young Japanese followed Javier inside the comfortable apartment and, without a word, went to sit on the big leather sofa. Not knowing what to say, Javier just asked him if he wanted anything to drink. At these words, Yuzuru seemed to wake up suddenly.  
"Oh no no! No more beer!” He gasped.  
Javier, astonished by this unexpected reaction, looked at him with surprised eyes.  
"I'm going to make some tea." 

 

He took a few steps into the kitchen, filled a kettle with clear water and placed it on the base by pressing the small start button. At a slow pace the young man joined Yuzuru on the couch. With a delicate gesture he took off Yuzuru's cap. He  desperately wanted to take his hand, to hold him in his arms but he didn't move, not wanting to hurry things.  
"How did you get here?  
-Florence dropped me off. We were at the bar.” The young Japanese replied weakly. 

 

Florence was a friend of theirs who worked at the Cricket Club. She had become, over the months, Yuzuru's privileged confidante here in Toronto. Javier felt relieved to know that the young man has spend the evening with her. 

 

Both of them stayed quiet in silence, Javier looking at Yuzuru, the latter staring at the carpet.  
Suddenly, the kettle made a small sound indicating that the water had reached the ideal temperature.  
"Take off your coat, you'll catch a cold.” He said softly, getting up. 

 

He made two big mugs of green tea, put them on the coffee table and sat down next to the young Japanese man keeping one of the mugs in his left hand. The latter was now simply dressed in his big fleece sweater and was still staring at the ground. After a moment's hesitation Javier grabbed one of his hands.  
"Yuzu, I'm sorry for what I told you the other day. You're not selfish and I'm worried about you, I didn't mean what I said, I'm glad your ankle..."  
Yuzuru finally raised his head, looked at Javier and interrupted him in a clear, authoritative voice.  
"Don't apologize Javi, I was horrible with you too. We were angry, that's all.” He said.

 

Despite his calm voice, Yuzuru's eyes filled with tears. Javier was about to put his mug on the table to be able to take him in his arms when the young Japanese caught him by surprise. Without waiting, Yuzuru erased the few inches that held them two separate, buried his face in Javier's neck and passed his long thin arms around his waist. The Spaniard, surprised, spilled a small amount of hot tea on Yuzuru's back. The latter didn't seem to mind so Javier calmly placed the mug on the table before putting his arms around him. He felt it, Yuzuru cried hard against him in silence. Torn between the pleasure of feeling his body against his and despair at the mere thought that he was surely the cause of the young Japanese's sorrow, Javier closed his eyes and did his best to keep his cool.  
"Wh... Why..." Yuzuru sobbed. 

 

At these words, the Spaniard felt his heart explode in millions of small pieces. A beating would have been more enjoyable. What could he answer to this "why"? There was nothing to say, nothing to do. Javier blew, bit the inside of his cheek so as not to crack in his turn and tightened his hug a little more. 

 

Everything was quiet, the snow falling outside smothered the slightest sound of the surrounding city. In the apartment, only the small radio remained lit in the bathroom disturbed the silence.  _"CBC Radio One, I'm Jim Corcoran, have a very nice evening."_

 

After a long moment, Javier, almost sure that he could speak without bursting into tears, took a deep breath.  
"Yuzu, I'm sorry you learned it like that, I..."  
A sharp pain on his collarbone cut off his breathing. Yuzuru had given him a hard punch then, releasing himself from the hug, he stared at him. If he hadn't really wanted to hurt him, the result was the same. The media's delicate little boy was definitely stronger than he looked...  
"Aoutch..."  
A hand resting on his painful collarbone, Javier was speechless.

 

"I don't care about that! How I know it or not, it is not important! Why are you leaving?!” Yuzuru yelled.  
Taking his time to answer, wishing to weigh carefully each word he would use, Javier leaned over the table, grabbed a small tissue and handed it to the young Japanese. The latter took it in his hands and blew loudly. After that, Javier approached him slightly, cupped his face in his hands and, with his thumbs, wiped his wet cheekbones. 

 

"You know it, we've been talking about it for a while, I'm going to be 27, it's time for... For moving on..." His heart sank, his throat was dry.  
"Or... Yes I know but... I don't want you to leave."  
Yuzuru's sobs redoubled. Javier rested his forehead against his.  
"Hush... Please, don't cry.” He whispered as he tried not to burst into tears himself. "We... we knew from the beginning that... it would happen someday.  
-This is not why it's less sad.” Yuzuru replied in a pertinent way. "You... Can't you stay even if you don't train anymore? Stay here in Toronto... "  
Javier bit his lower lip.  
"Yuzu... I want to go back to Spain, for my family, my friends, my country ..  
-But...  
-If you had the choice, yourself you wouldn't hesitate to come back to Japan... We're not from here.  
-It's true." 

 

The silence fell again, the two men still forehead to forehead, breathing in unison.  
  
"So... It will be finished..."  
Simple but heavy words like lead. As often, Yuzuru had been the bravest and had formulated what they both thought. 

 

Yes, the return to Spain of Javier meant the end of their relationship. For years they had loved each other in the shadows, without making anything official. Neither of them was feeling strong enough to confront the media, the controversies, the intrusions into their private lives. From the beginning, things had been clear; Their love was ephemeral, meant to end, at the latest, the day one of them would leave Toronto. Of course, they would leave Canada, Javier like Yuzuru being too much attached to their roots to imagine staying in Toronto after their career slowed down. They were in love for sure, so much in love but whas it enough to forget everything around them ? No, It was tough but the two boys were on the same wavelength. Together in spite of everything but not at all costs. It wasn't cowardness or lack of love, Yuzuru and Javier were just pretty realistic. Why would they lost themselves in impossible hopes, burning their wings and hearts? That wasn't their style...

 

Gathering his courage, Javier, his eyes fealed with tears, watched Yuzuru.  
"Remember... No promise, we live today and tomorrow is another day." 

 

 __One afternoon of autumn 2015, they were sitting all alone on a bench in High Park. Yuzuru, feeling wise and inspired, found this formula, summarizing elegantly the foundations of their love story...  
"No promise..." He whispered.  
"We live today..." Javier completed.  
"... Tomorrow is another day.” He had concluded.  
Then, in the shade of the big maples, they kissed, confident, light-hearted hearts.

 

If the hearts wer e  a bit heavier to night, the words remained the same. They were still staring each other, sitting face to face on the big couch.  
Yuzuru smiled weakly, a very soft and loving smile, then put his lips on those of Javier. The kiss, at first shy, intensified from second to second. Out of breath, Yuzuru lowered his mouth on his jaw then in his neck, planting butterfly kisses all over his skin. This time Javier greeted him immediately and put his head on his shoulder. Yuzuru's hair still smelled the same, scent of his shampoo, a clever blend of musk and soap. Drunk from the scent of Yuzuru's body close to him, Javier felt the young man's tongue playing with his skin. He couldn't repress a sigh of pleasure. 

 

"Mmmh... I don't know if I'll be able to do without all this someday..." Javier whispered.  
Yuzuru sighed and settled comfortably close to Javier.  
"I'm tired..." he moaned, yawning.  
Obviously the intensive training morning, the emotions of the day and the few evening drinks had exhausted the young man.  
"We'd better go to bed.” Javier suggested. As he began straightening their two bound bodies, Yuzuru, with an iron grip, pushed him back onto the couch.  
"No, no, still a little here..."  
The young Spaniard, too happy to comply tightened their cuddle.  
"Okay five more minutes..."  
He closed his eyes.  
The seconds passed, then one minute, two minutes, five.  
Feeling Yuzuru completely motionless by his side, Javier opened his eyes and what he saw gave birth to the sweetest smile on his lips. The young man had, quite predictably, sunk into Morpheus's arms. Javier looked at him for long minutes, he had always loved to watch him sleep, then, with infinite sweetness, put a light kiss on his forehead. 

 

_"CBC Radio One, 3am, the informations with Marcy Markusa..."_   
Lying in the couch, Yuzuru's body deeply asleep on him, Javier opened an eye. Slowly he straightened up, took Yuzuru in his arms, made a detour to the bathroom to turn off the radio and entered his bedroom. On the bed, he helped the young Japanese to undress himself and slipped with him under the thick duvet. 

 

"I could stay there for eternity...” Yuzuru whispered sleepily.  
"So let's say that just for tonight we have all eternity before us..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it ! If you did (or didn't) please, be free to write a very little comment, it's always loved !
> 
> Oh and if you want to be my friend (I don't bite, unless you like it), my Tumblr is : tangyyyy.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Hey ;)  
> If you liked it (or if you didn't) know that you can live a comment ! :P
> 
> The second part is on it's way... Just the time to translate it !


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